


Awkward

by per_mare_ad_astra



Category: Atlantis (UK TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, M/M, slightly cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-01
Updated: 2013-10-01
Packaged: 2017-12-28 03:44:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/987264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/per_mare_ad_astra/pseuds/per_mare_ad_astra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Hercules sees a little too much, Jason doesn't know where to hide, Pythagoras seriously considers jumping off a cliff and there is more than enough mental scarring for all of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Awkward

**Author's Note:**

> I LOVE Atlantis and I felt the need to make a small contribution to the fandom. Every fandom needs a 'birds and bees' fanfic, right?  
> Fyi, I had a blast writing this. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Hercules had always thought of himself as a cunning, clever man. There were many who called him a fool, but oh, how very wrong they were. He was Hercules, gods be dammed! He had _done_ things, he had _seen_ things... He was a hero in every sense of the word. Brave, strong and always prepared for anything.

Or so he liked to think, for at that precise moment he felt no more heroic than a dormouse.

He was fairly certain he was gaping, his jaw was halfway to the floor and his eyes felt as if they were going to pop out at any moment as he stared and stared and _stared_.

Pythagoras and Jason.

Pythagoras and _Jason_.

On a _bed_.

Doing _things_.

There were chuckles (or giggles, in Jason's case) and hands were in places and _by the gods where had Pythagoras' tunic gone_ and this was just _too much_ because Pythagoras' hand had just taken a trip down Jason's trousers and no no _no_.

When he retold this tale - extremely drunk and in the tavern, obviously, since there was no way anyone would get this out of him while he was sober - Hercules would always say that he had puffed out his chest (his big-boned chest, yes, thank you very much) and imperiously demanded to know just what in the name of Zeus did those two boys think they were doing.

The truth, however, was a little less flattering.

He couldn't help letting out a small squeak of surprise - a very manly squeak, of course - that echoed around the room as he stared at the couple. He should've run then. He should've run all the way to Athens and never ever _ever_ returned to Atlantis.

But he didn't, and he would regret it until his dying day.

Pythagoras shrieked in a rather girly fashion and sprung away from the other boy so fast he fell off the bed. Jason, on the other hand, let out a stream of rather colourful curses that Hercules had never heard before, his face quickly turning beet red, and covered his chest with his arms. _Why_ he did this Hercules didn't know, for he was fairly certain that Jason, while being quite talented at doing impossible jumps, had not been blessed with a pair of breasts.

"H-H-Hercules!" Pythagoras stammered, sounding every bit as mortified as the older man felt. "Y-You're... um... back early!" The poor boy looked ready to faint.

Trying not to think of what would have happened in that room (and bed, let's not forget the bed) if he hadn't returned so early, Hercules made a valiant effort to look at his protégé in the eye, but failed miserably. His hair was a good alternative, though. "Pythagoras," he said, trying to sound calm. "I think we... um... need to talk. Now."

Oh gods, he'd said it. Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods, _why_ had he said it? He did _not_ want to have this conversation with Pythagoras. By Hades, he didn't want to have this conversation with anyone!

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jason slowly get to his feet. "I think I'll just... go?" He didn't even wait for either of them to answer before he ran out of the house.

Silence.

Very tense, very quiet, very awkward silence.

"Sit down," Hercules said finally, taking a seat himself. He briefly contemplated getting some wine, since being drunk seemed like the only way to survive the horror that was to come, but quickly discarded the idea. He'd leave the drinking for later and hopefully he'd wake up the next day and not remember anything.

Pythagoras was looking at him as though he was the Minotaur, ready to rip his head off if he dared to even blink, but he sat down.

"Well, Pythagoras." Hercules took a deep breath to prepare himself. "Sometimes, when a man and a... man... love each other very mu-"

"Oh gods, Hercules, surely you're not going to talk about _that_?" Pythagoras looked positively horrified now.

Hercules' eyebrow twitched. "I am, so be quiet."

"But-"

"Shut up, Pythagoras."

"-there are _books_ and _Jason_ knows and I-"

Hercules was getting more and more irritated by the second. Gods be dammed, they were going to have this conversation and then he was going to throw himself off the nearest cliff. "Pythagoras..." he said warningly.

"No, no." The younger man stood up suddenly and started edging towards the door. "I refuse to listen to this."

"DON'T YOU DARE TAKE ANOTHER STEP, YOUNG MAN," roared Hercules, grabbing him by the arm and throwing him back on the chair. "YOU WILL PUT ON YOUR TUNIC, YOU WILL SIT DOWN QUIETLY, YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME AND YOU WILL BE GRATEFUL. IS THAT CLEAR?"

Pythagoras gave a squeak that could've meant 'yes', 'no' or 'please don't kill me'. Hercules didn't really give a damn by this point.

When he saw that the young man was clothed once again and giving him his full attention, he took another deep breath. "As I was saying: When a man and another man love each other very much..."

A few days later, things seemed to have gone back to normal. Hercules spent his days in the tavern (a killer hangover hadn't been enough to forget everything, unfortunately), Jason avoided everyone and everything (Hercules kept staring at him as if he were some kind of dominatrix, which was very uncomfortable) and Pythagoras...

Well, he was mentally scarred and traumatized for life, but at least he had his triangles.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you appreciate my slightly weird sense of humor.  
> Please leave kudos and/or comments if you liked it! It might encourage me to write some more (and not so silly) Jagoras fanfiction, which I'm sure we all need ;)  
> Have a nice day!


End file.
